(Photo Credit: Demetri Martin, “This Is a Book“)
Success consists of
going from failure to failure
without loss of enthusiasm.
– Winston Churchill
Do not judge me by my successes,
judge me by how many times I fell down
and got back up again.
– Nelson Mandela
I have not failed.
I’ve just found
10,000 ways
that won’t work.
– Thomas Edison
Daniel Epstein, entrepreneur, inspirational speaker and founder of the Unreasonable Group and the Unreasonable Institute in CO, makes an astute observation about how we define failure. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, failure means: “to not succeed, to end without success”. Daniel Epstein redefines failure as: “to not start doing something you believe in. To stop doing something you believe in just because it is hard. To ignore your gut instinct around what you believe is right and wrong.”
When you experience failure, what does Merriam-Webster’s version of “failure” feel like in your body? Where does it reside in your body? Many people respond with similar descriptions:
“I feel it in my gut.”
“I feel it in the pit of my stomach.”
“It reaches up towards my chest and there is a strong sensation of pressure.”
“My chest and heart feel like something very powerful is pulling them down.”
“I feel a heaviness in my chest.”
The thoughts that often follow a perceived failure are:
“I knew this would happen.”
“Why did I even try?”
“I’m so stupid.”
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“Now everyone will think I’m stupid.”
“I’m a disappointment.”
Once these thoughts take hold, it is difficult to escape from the downward spiraling cycle. Next time, you may feel it’s not even worth trying to take the risk. The physical and emotional memory will protect you from repeating such a painful experience. Even if you do try, a great deal of anxiety may accompany you. The habit-forming fears of making mistakes and failing can begin to erode the life you really want to live. You begin to lose contact with your inner wisdom and intuition.
Now, envision your experience of failure using Daniel Epstein’s definition. How different would you feel? How different would your thoughts be? How differently would you see yourself or how you think others see you? Your response to failure would change because living by this definition would change how you interpret failure. Your motivation level would also be different the next time an opportunity comes along to move from status quo to taking action.
Denis Waitley, author and inspirational speaker said, “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing.”