It is a practice to learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings. When we act in a way that causes pain to another person, we can feel multiple emotions taking up residence in our hearts and thoughts. Remorse, guilt, embarrassment, shame, just to name the stars of the show. It is most unpleasant to hang out with these unwanted feelings. Some of us try to stifle them with alcohol, drugs, over eating, not eating, isolating, ignoring, creating temporary diversions or taking a sleeping pill. But in the end, we find that we can only temporarily run away from these feelings.
When we allow them to stay with us and allow ourselves to feel the acute discomfort, several things happen. After a while, the intensity commences to soften. This enables us to gain a new perspective and awareness of the situation in order to begin the process of forgiveness.
Forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself. Forgiveness does not eliminate culpability. Forgiveness enables you to accept accountability, learn yet another life lesson and move on from a stuck place to either the next crack in the road or the next zenith experience.